Yesterday was an interesting day. The morning at work began fine, outwardly, but my heart and mind were not in the right place. This showed up in a lack of kindness to some of my co-workers.
In the afternoon, this lack of harmony, as if reflecting itself in the world around me, began to express itself: we found out that a key component of the Clarity Magazine site had broken.
While I was trying to fix this, I accidentally took down our network-wide backup, which supports perhaps 60 people or more and is one of the most important things that our IT department works on. (Peter’s classic comment: “Well, I was looking for something to do!”)
Later, another bug came up, this time on Ananda.org. Fixing it was like something between talking to a blank wall and banging my head on my desk.
Okay, all that sounds… unfortunate. Parts of it I found funny at the time, and other parts I didn’t. Poetically, I imagined above my head, floating just under the ceiling, a light grey cloud.
After spending over an hour on this last problem, continually making small changes, testing, tweaking, and checking, it went away.
In the website troubleshooting world, you want to know why something was fixed, and I frantically tried different things, attempting to backtrack. It wasn’t possible. It was all okay, and the bug was gone, I just clearly had no control over it.
Okay. Finally, it was time to breathe — something I should have been doing more of all along!
In that moment of relaxation (the calm after the storm), I decided that my Guru and God had fixed the problem. I imagined God looking at me and saying, “You do not decide the outcome of what you do; I haven’t given humanity that choice.”
A nice idea, I reflected. We don’t choose the result of our actions.
This is surely true in finance — can we prevent an unexpected disease, fire, or relative needing money? — in relationships, where people can and do act whatever way they wish; and even in ourselves. It’s common for people (including myself) to have difficulty controlling even their emotions.
All we can really control, the famous Indian saint, Anandamoyee Ma said, is whether we think of God or not. (!!) And Swami Kriyananda, who has quoted this often, has also pointed out that when we think of God, everything goes well, and when we don’t, things fall apart.
Yesterday was humbling. But, well, Lord, You are the Doer. Maybe the best we can hope for, when tests come, is to be awake and ready enough to change. So the question is…
I’ll be giving a live webinar on Thursday night on just this subject (which will include a first ever interactive kirtan with tabla, guitar, and harmonium) and wanted to give a little background of what chanting has meant to me.
When I came to Ananda and experienced chanting for the first time, my heart was wonderstruck at how so few words with such a simple melody could have such a profound effect upon me. Tears flowed as my heart was cracked open with a crowbar.
How different this was from my experience in the Presbyterian church in which we’d typically sing three hymns, all with 3 or 4 different verses that kept our attention wrapped up in the words of each line. Nobody ever explained hymn singing to me, and as I stood next to my mom sharing the hymnal, I got the feeling that this was something that was expected of me, and it was simply something one did as a good Christian. Was God expecting us to sing to Him? I couldn’t quite get the deeper meaning, and occupied myself with learning the harmony parts - at least that was pleasing enough.
If chanting is something new to you, please, please understand this: God is not expecting us to sing to Him, but rather wants us to sing with Him, and to open ourselves to His presence. The chanting that we have to offer is simply an opportunity to experience for ourselves firsthand God’s presence. It’s not something that we expect people to do simply because it ought to be done, but is a meal offered for anyone to partake. What we get out of it is up to us, and what a feast it can be.
This evening I taught a Music and Meditation class for the Meditation Teacher Training class at the Expanding Light. For some, chanting was a new encounter, and my job was to give them as dynamic experience as I could of what chanting is all about. At the end of the class, my consciousness was completely transformed and I found myself blissed out - one of the benefits of leading such a class!
My approach is this: in order to convincingly convey something to someone, I must bring it alive as completely as possible. For instance, if I were to try to share my enthusiasm about the new ice cream store in Nevada City, I’m going to try to bring to mind (and mouth!) the experience as vividly as I can so that I can use the best words to convey the experience (”the lemon custard was divine: creamy, sweet, and refreshing!”). But no matter how many words I use, I don’t think I can leave you with the exact taste in your mouth. And seeing as finished off the cup, all I can do is give you directions (Treats - 110 York Street!).
With chanting, we get to go beyond the realm of words into that of vibration, and with dynamic energy on my part and receptivity on the your own, I can help lead you to a direct experience for yourself. How is that possible? For me, I must again feel the vibration of each chant so powerfully that it can’t help but aid in awakening those same vibrations within your own self. And as we chant together, you must be as open as possible to the experience. If I slightly dampen my cello strings, no matter how hard I try to produce a freely resonating sound, it will remain muted. As I feel and broadcast (both vibrationally and digitally), I’m offering through my own state of receptivity what is possible for you to experience - bliss divine, eternal love, devotion, peace, deep calmness, and power. If my hope is for you to touch a little of what chanting has to offer, I must be an ever deeper channel through which this all can flow. And that challenge is what leaves me residing in bliss.
Here is a recording of I Am the Bubble from the Crystal Clarity album, Bliss Chants. As you listen, try to feel what is happening on a deeper level than just the auditory - go within and feel for God’s presence as Bliss. The more you can open to the experience, the more you can resonate with joy.
Seven years ago, unexpectedly, I woke up one morning with a strong desire to meditate.
I’d thought meditation was a good idea for some time — but meditation was something that other people did. I’d tried it and it hadn’t worked out. But, here was this new feeling: “I must find God!”
I struggled on my own for a month or two, until I discovered Ananda’s center in Seattle and learned the Hong-Sau Technique from Nayaswami Hriman, one of the spiritual directors there.
This started my lifelong journey of meditation.
Meditate Without Fail
“Struggles of the battlefield pale to insignificance, when man first contends with inner enemies.”
— Paramhansa Yogananda, Autobiography of a Yogi
In the beginning of the spiritual path, it is good to dive as deeply as you can — you have an enthusiasm then, that, if put to good use, can serve you throughout the rest of your life.
As an example, a goal that served me very well was this: create a daily habit of meditation. I had heard that Swami Kriyananda had meditated every day since he first learned how, without fail.
Great! I would do the same. But it was harder than I thought.
First, I started having back problems. At times, I could only sit for 15 minutes at most. Then, there were other days that my mind was so resistant to meditation, it was all I could do to drag myself, literally crawling! (self-pityingly), to the chair in front of my altar, there to sit for a moment and finally flop over onto the floor.
I was determined to meditate at least some every day. This meant no vacations, no holidays, and no Sundays off. (Thinking back on this, I realize this absolute, unwavering method is not the route everyone takes to daily meditation, but it is what got me to a strong daily practice the fastest.) A funny realization is that I’d probably never been this consistent about anything else in my entire life.
And finally, strange to relate, my first meditations resulted in an unpleasant feeling of disorientation. (For at least a month, I couldn’t meditate at all: I read books of Paramhansa Yogananda’s instead.) There was a solution: Nayaswami Hriman guided me to meditate with my eyes open, in the beginning, and gave other suggestions, which in time cured the problems entirely.
But, in the beginning, I didn’t know that these problems had solutions: they all seemed like impossible challenges.
Back pain was a good example. Many meditators have experienced it — perhaps including yourself!
Once I moved to Ananda Village, over a year later, I went to see Dr. Peter Van Houten, an Ananda Minister and doctor at the local (award-winning) Sierra Family Medical Clinic. At this time, by one trick or another, though physical therapy, and perseverance, I was able to meditate for more than an hour at a time, but still felt limited by discomfort.
Dr. Peter offered some advice, and said this sort of thing is pretty normal — and that it usually goes away in “three to five years.”
The “three to five years” have since come and gone. And he was right! Now, it’s rare for any back pain to interfere with meditation. However, if you do have trouble with back pain, or any other medical issue, seeing a doctor is still probably the best first step to handling it.
As to the other challenge, the daily one of meditation itself — it became easier over time, and has been the most rewarding discipline of my life.
The Journey Continues
My favorite advice from that time period were quotes from Yogananda and Kriyananda like, “The only thing you have to do is never give up,” “The path is not really so difficult, if you but take it one step at a time,” and “A saint is a sinner who never gave up.”
Connecting regularly with Hriman, I continued to meditate and seek advice when I felt stuck, or was confused on some point. I owe a lot to the opportunity to have asked so many questions, and received such useful and kind guidance.
Three months into my practice, I started taking classes at Ananda Sangha in Seattle, and began to meet fellow devotees. After a class on how to play the harmonium, Satyaki Brockschmidt, the teacher and author of The Harmonium Handbook, asked how long I’d been meditating.
“Three months,” I replied.
“Ah, those are the most difficult. Once you’re through those, you’re pretty well set.” Another man there agreed.
Hopeful words! Though I’ve had other struggles — some with meditation, some not — and also been blessed in many ways — including learning Kriya Yoga, and taking the vows of brahmacharya and discipleship — I don’t suppose any three months in my life have been so strikingly challenging or positive.
And here we are, several years later. Life is an adventure, isn’t it? Who can say with confidence what we’ll be doing even a year from now — and what new things we’ll have learned, or gained in that time?
Everyone’s challenges are different. We may face great tests, and reap great gains — usually they come hand in hand — but if we do, may we have the clear devotion that Swami Kriyananda did, when he said, during one of his own major battles:
“Divine Mother, you can take away everything, but you can never take away my love for you.”
Living in a spiritual community isn’t all it’s cracked out to be. It’s much, much more. Besides the fountainhead of bliss gushing forth amidst daily spiritual practice, service and fellowship, there come truly beautiful, blessed and rewarding opportunities. Such was our recent two-day trip, as myself, along with my six fellow 20-something-year-old gurubhais (fellow disciples) explored our first outreach opportunity with two classes at Butte College in nearby Chico.
But let me begin at the beginning, or nearer so: there is a growing energy here at Ananda Village and I believe worldwide, in which greater numbers of our generation are being called to the light. That is, they are finding an expanding sense of world brotherhood, of service and joy in their own hearts and in one another.
Be it a spiritual calling of a true teacher like Paramhansa Yogananda or any other pathway of expansive freedom, love and fellowship — there presently exists a great shift in consciousness that reaches far beyond all limitations and form. For us, one manifestation of this has been to reach out and share.
For example, we run the summer camp programs known as Living with Spirit, in which young people ages 18 – 30 spend two weeks camping at Ananda Village to experience the blessings of life in spiritual community. These programs include deep friendship amidst daily meditation and yoga postures, joyful work as service, and exploring and sharing the beauty of nature and community life.
After following the teachings of Paramhansa Yogananda for some two years, my brother Tristan and I discovered Ananda through these programs just last year. We were, and are ever grateful and so happy to have this connection with so many spiritual friends and family in Ananda Worldwide.
(A side note: Rose Atwell and myself now lead the Farming and Sustainability Living with Spirit program, which includes organic farming along with everything else.)
Recently these programs have expanded beyond Ananda Village, in order to better share such a great many blessings. By way of networking and the more subtle but ever-powerful tools of meditation, affirmation, and energy magnetism, there suddenly appeared our first opportunity: the trip to Chico, which I mentioned earlier, to be hosted by an Ananda meditation center located there, and by a college professor whose had two classes centered on the study and practice of yoga postures and philosophy.
The result was a truly rewarding experience: the Ananda Chico Meditation Center alone and our gracious host Marlene provided us many accommodations to be both joyous and grateful. But the classes were the highlight of this trip: to be joyful and have fun, learning and sharing our knowledge, experience and energy rather than simply teaching or informing.
The interaction through sharing, brief meditation, chanting and singing was the mightiest blessing, in that we connected to a receptive group of young people who like us had opened the door of their hearts to higher guidance, truth, and joy through yoga.
There was a great sense of receptivity among many individuals and an expansive and powerful connection between everyone present. Some of the students inquired during or after the presentation for more information, or talked with us afterwards.
One person was so enthusiastically moved that she signed up for this summer’s Living with Spirit program only a day later. Other students were simply inspired and expressed their gratitude and enjoyment (very mutual, for us) in our coming there. On many different levels the outreach itself was a success and provided great satisfaction in sharing with others.
We spent our little free time in Chico enjoying one another’s company, in group meditation, and in further outreach trip to Chico State College, the greater Butte College nearby, to post Living with Spirit 2010 flyers and explore the campuses.
Behind the outward posting of flyers and other sharing and networking, we know and have experienced the power in the flow of energy put out that will surely lead us onward to greater heights of outreach and blessings. Even as I write these words we are only days away from another such trip this time to Southern California’s beautiful Encinitas to reach out, connect and share joy with more of our Ananda family and all receptive souls in kirtan, satsang and sadhana. (Editor’s note: We were slow in posting Jordan’s article — the trip to Encinitas has already happened, and went well.)
Above all things in our Chico outreach trip was the presence and power of Divine Grace before, during and still yet after. In the positive, energetic and enthusiastic attempt to be channels for the higher energies of light and love to all, we were blessed inexpressibly in our every thought and word.
Paramhansa Yogananda said that the “channel is blessed by what flows through it.” Despite whatever mere preferences or improvements we might have looking back and moving forward, we have indeed and yet again experienced this truth.
As our dear friend and host professor Annalisa Cunningham closed each class, “May all beings be happy. May all beings be free from suffering. May all beings be loved.”
At the Portland Living Wisdom School, the primary class (first, second and third grade) performed “Frog’s Dream”, a musical play set in the rainforest. I co-teach the class and my job was to sit on the sidelines and hit the play/pause button on the CD player at the right time.
The frog’s dream was to see the sky. The rainforest is crowded with trees and the frog lives down in the shady understory, longing to go up high to see the sun. Toucan can’t help because of a wounded wing. Frog encounters a variety of other animals and none of them can help her. Finally, frog puts aside her own desires and helps her friend Toucan. Toucan’s wing is fixed and then she is able to take frog up to the canopy to see the sun.
It was a cute play, with fun songs and great performances from the children. I enjoyed the show and enjoyed everyone else’s enjoyment. But as I watched, I became deeply involved in the unintentional symbolism of the story and the characters. In my mind, the frog was our highest aspirations – longing to experience the light of God-realization. The other characters took on meaning as other inner qualities.
There were the sloths – who expressed interest in the frog’s cause, but just couldn’t muster enough energy to do anything about it. There were the jaguars, who were perfectly happy being “cool, cool cats” on the jungle floor. They thought frog was crazy to want something different. The boa constrictors were only interested in their desire for the next meal and would do anything to get it; even pretend they wanted to help frog reach her goal.
The ants were caught up in their group mentality; they had no interest in frog’s dream. Two human explorers passed through, looking for the next great discovery (a city of chocolate) – they were too distracted to be of any help.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Frog is discouraged, but suddenly realizes she has done nothing but think of herself. She then changes her thinking and puts energy into finding help for toucan. When toucan is cured and can fly, she offers frog a way out of darkness, into the light above the dense growth of the rainforest. The story ends with the song telling us that “she never came back down”. My mind translates: When we expand our awareness beyond our little self and put out the right kind of energy, we can rise into the highest levels of consciousness.
It’s great fun to look at the world through the eyes of a devotee. Everything takes on a deeper and more powerful meaning, and can be a doorway to expanded awareness and inspiration. Yogananda says in one of his poems, “Thou has opened my eyes and now I find doors everywhere.”
But I have to admit that I was surprised to find that even a simple school performance led me through a doorway of inspiration. I wasn’t trying to lift my consciousness above the pleasant commotion of the evening – I just found myself immersed in the thought that I have often heard expressed but had never deeply appreciated: There is only one thing happening.
Just one thing – in all circumstances, in all places, in all hearts. Just the struggle to understand how to get out of the shadows and into the light.
Through Paramhansa Yogananda and his disciple, Swami Kriyananda, we have been given what we need to find the way.
Hi Everyone, It has been an amazing Spring here at Ananda Village. It was very long and wet, but the result was a very vivid wildflower season, a very long tulip season and some great clouds and luscious flowers and skies.
I have been pretty busy with all kinds of stuff, just like everyone else I know, but also have been able to get outside and photograph Ananda Village in all kinds of light.
I have also been soaking up the colors of Spring: purples, yellows, peach, pink and infinite shades of green. Summer time will bring a very different palette to enjoy. The more color I look for, the more I find.
One morning started out very gray and overcast (the first photo) and then while I was in the garden taking pictures of some of the young people in the Living with Spirit program (see Maria’s post) the clouds began to part and we were treated to this spectacular scene. The Expanding Light has been one of my favorite destination spots lately. The morning and evening light on our beautiful gardens have given me lots of opportunity to try and capture the magical feeling of being at the retreat.
A lot of energy has been going into the gardens at The Expanding Light, and it really shows. They are very lush, and new sitting areas are being creating to allow quiet enjoyment of this peaceful place.
To get the best light I have been trying shoot first thing in the morning and then later in the evening. With the summer solstice near that means getting up early. In the mornings, the land and the air seem to be meditating.
We are also preparing for Swami Kriyananda’s visit. He is scheduled to arrive July 1 and participate in the July 4th festivities. I am hoping that his arrival also means that I will be seeing lots of my friends (you) from all over, here at the village. Bless you all!! And happy summer - which is just around the corner. Love, Barbara
A view of the sunset from Rajarshi Ridge.
Over the past several years, the Yoga Festivals in Italy have grown in size and importance.
Ananda has been involved from the beginning, cooperating with the organizers and making presentations of Ananda Yoga and meditation at both the Milan and Rome venues.
The Rome Festival is held in the large park of Villa Pamphilli, an area of 2 square kilometers of meadows, lakes, flower gardens and stately trees developed by a 17th century noble family and now the property of the city and people of Rome.
In an outdoor exhibition area, Italy’s yoga and Ayurveda centers and schools are represented, including The Ananda Yoga Academy of Europe. Over 5000 people attended.
This year Swami Kriyananda’s visit to Italy coincided with the Rome Festival, and he was invited to give a talk in the main tent on Saturday. This was a unique event in that all of the other presentations are yoga practices of various kinds. This was the only inspirational talks.
Audience at the Rome Yoga Festival
The sides of this large tent were open to permit the over-flow crowd to stand outside. Inside there were about 500 people crammed in, with another 300-500 standing all around the tent. The event organizers said that there has never been such a talk at the Festivals, with such a large audience.
The event started with two musical pieces played on keyboard, flute, viola and guitar. The choir sang four songs, joined by Swamiji who sang “Pace (Peace).” The music attracted everyone, and the exhibition area and other venues emptied out as people came to attend the talk.
Swami Kriyananda speaks at the Festival
Swamiji spoke movingly about Yogananda and his Autobiography, which has just been published in the original 1946 version in Italian.
Most of the people present had been touched by that book, and Swamiji told the story of how he was attracted by it to become Yogananda’s disciple. He remarked that had he read a later, edited version of the book, he doesn’t know if he would have been so inspired, since he was not interested in organizations or institutions. He talked about the book’s vibrational power, how it transforms one’s consciousness and life.
He urged people to always think of themselves as potential saints, sons of God, and never as sinners, never identified with their human mistakes. He also urged the audience to not be limited by their own capacities, but to let God into their consciousness and lives and take them to higher awareness and achievements.
Earlier that morning Swamiji remarked, “I think this is a very important day.”
His presence at the Yoga Festival and his talk have launched more than the Italian translation of the Autobiography: they have stimulated a new respect for Yogananda and a renewed interest in Ananda.
Thanks to our publicist’s efforts, many important people and journalists were present at the talk, and there were numerous interviews before, many articles were published, and others will be published. One well-known professor and author has just released a book about three influential spiritual leaders, including Swami Kriyananda.
Inauguration of a second Ananda center in Rome
Swami Kriyananda at the Ananda center in Rome
The following day Swamiji inaugurated the new Ananda yoga and meditation center in Rome.
A shop on the ground floor sells Inner Life products (Ananda’s mail-catalogue and retail business in Europe), and the lower floor includes a large yoga hall, a meditation room/class room, changing rooms, bathrooms and an outdoor garden.
About 100 people crammed into the yoga hall, many standing or sitting on the stairs and in the hallways. The musicians and choir performed, and Swamiji continued with some of Saturday’s themes, including more stories about Yogananda, then answering many questions.
His presence and blessings were deeply felt and Yogananda’s power was infused into the center.
With Swamiji’s presence during this visit, a new era has begun.
