“Sue, I need to know what’s going on! What’s happening? Why are young people sick and dying all around me?” was a tearful telephone call to me at home from a distressed work colleague.
In the Intensive Care Unit where I work we see many deaths and tragedies of God’s Lila (Sanskrit for divine play), but to my colleague this was different. It was concerning a mutual friend who had been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and was altogether too close to home for her.
She wanted answers. Fortunately for me, being put ‘on the spot’, she already held a belief of reincarnation. I tried to expand on this by explaining as best I could, in brief, about the yogic teachings on the Law of Cause and Effect, or karma, of past lives and present. Karma is the sum total of actions and thoughts that cause an impartial reaction or return of like energy. This law is exact, impersonal and just is.
Reincarnation or rebirth continues until all karma is balanced or neutralized. If we view all that befalls us in this way, we can stay in equilibrium of the peaks and troughs of the illusion of physical duality, maya, and work quickly through our own karma.
Only one week later, I had to put my money where my mouth was. My faith in all I had explained to my colleague was truly tested, as God’s Lila decided to play even closer to home.
I received the news that my own sister, only 2 years older than I, had a particularly aggressive form of brain tumour! Her prognosis is extremely poor, especially now it is evident she received multiple complications from the attempt to surgically remove it.
When the news of this ‘bomb-shell’ dropped on my family, they could not understand why life, as it had abruptly revealed itself to them in this instance, was so unfair. Only two weeks ago she was walking round large as life. She only had ‘a bit of a headache!’
It is not easy to explain to someone who has just received life-shattering news that it is not for us to reason why this law is taking my friend so early on in this life. It is not for us to reason why my sister has been given a far from encouraging prognosis.
Who but God knows what karma my friend will expiate by leaving this life now? To what detriment if God’s will could possibly be negated and her life wrongly extended by the will of lesser knowing, but well intentioned, grieving family and friends? What valuable lessons would be missed if my sister was to have this trial removed from her against, not God’s will, directly, but against the exact law of karma?
So where does faith come in? Amidst the sorrow of this play, I can clearly see three lessons my dear sister has learned, literally overnight, through this illness, that were not apparently mastered before.
Firstly, she has become utterly selfless, thinking only of others. Secondly, she is in total acceptance of what is, and thirdly, she has not complained once about plenty she could have done, and would have done prior to her illness, and she will not allow others around her to complain either.
What priceless wisdom she has discovered through this trial she faces on the physical plane. It may have taken a thousand more incarnations to learn these lessons if she had not received her personal karma; exactly what she is due and, as a consequence, will start her next incarnation in a more advanced state of spiritual awareness than this one.
I stress the point that, being impartial, this law is always just, meting out exactly the correct reaction to action taken either in this life, or in a former life, regardless of the outer appearance of the unfairness of it all.
But despite the sadness and tragedy of this drama playing out, the teachings of Yoganandaji teach us to view life from a higher vantage point. Never were they so needed by me as at this time.
Amidst the suffering of my own family and friends, I can see blessings of hearts opening, of people putting others welfare before their own, of genuine empathy and desire to be of service to our dear friend and to my dear sister, and as described above, the personal evolution of souls. I view this last Christmas with my sister, spent at her hospital bedside and tending her needs, as a great blessing and privilege.
Yet because of my faith, I battled with myself for crying for her. How could I call myself a renunciate, living beyond the bonds of human attachment, if I was crying for my sister? I must be being selfish, crying for myself, yet that concept was abhorrent to me. I truly believe in my heart all I have stated here; therefore I shouldn’t feel the need to cry….. I was so troubled by this that I asked a dear friend and Kriyacharia (teacher of Kriya), at Ananda, this question.
Before he could reply, the question I put was evidently put to the Guru also, because only 2 hrs later I had the answer, from the Guru. I ‘just happened’ to be flicking through Whispers From Eternity, by Paramhansa Yogananda and came across prayer #192, Teach Me to See Thine Omnipresent Spirit Suffering in the Sick. The last few lines hit me:
“Teach me to sympathize with the cries, needs and suffering of others, that I may be as eager to free them from those burdens as I would be to free myself.
“Sorrowing, struggling, weeping, and smiling in empathy to the needs of all, may I at last find my soul’s real identity with all.”
Master had shown me in that moment that I weep in empathy for all. That it is alright for us to cry for others, even with the understanding that all is God’s will. That it is not that we are weak and selfish of our own needs of comfort, as I had accused myself, but that our hearts must open to the plight of others around us for us to enter into His Kingdom.
And finally, you know what truly sustains me through all of this? What sustains all firmly on this chosen path? That despite the self-perpetuating flux of tragedy and elation, there is one true constant. The immutable bliss of infinite power, God. All else is illusion, changeable and impermanent.
Even now, as I write these words and pause just for a second to focus my eyes and attention to the centre of the brow… there It is! Instantaneous, ever-new Bliss. Every time!
Without faith we are lost; abandoned in this world and at the mercy of fear born of ignorance. Without the tears of compassion we will never be truly free of our limiting selves.
Tears Before Dawn
When God calls time
On a dear and cherished lamb,
Know that He is smiling,
As He cradles in His hand
A soul of pure perfection,
Ever-joyful, ever-new;
A soul with no corruption from a life of dimmer view.
Know that all the karma
Meted out this life
Has all been for the purpose
Of everlasting life.
Not until is ready does God recall His own,
And when He does bestill life’s blood
He draws us nearer home.
Then all events preceding
Compile a Great Review;
To see, in life, what came of strife
And plan the next life due.
And so, we cry, those left behind,
Not having understanding
That our dear ones live,
Despite the flesh,
And return with an upper hand,
Until the day all recompense
Is paid and duly spent,
The day that God extends His hand
For good, O precious lambs.
Writing and posting on this site has been moved up the priority list in my life; I hope to be sharing more regularly with you. Paramhansa Yogananda said we should regulate our lives – approach our days with a sense of order. We also have to flow with life and be willing to change our priorities when circumstances present new opportunities for growth, service, and self-forgetfulness.
The challenge for me lies in finding the middle ground. I err on the side of fluidity and willingness to do what needs doing in the moment. But I find that the balls I drop often never get picked up again. So here I am, picking up the ball again and reenergizing my desire to be part of this sharing about Ananda.
It helps that I am feeling full of gratitude for the teachings that come through Ananda and the great souls who are a part of this movement of consciousness. Every part of my life is changed and uplifted when I pick it up with the idea that my true nature is joy and everything I do can awaken that joy.
Here at Ananda Portland we have had a very busy season of joyful offerings and special guests. David Eby, friend and director of Ananda music worldwide, came here to visit and share his attunement with the expression of joy in music. We had an amazing weekend of learning and practicing and then sharing the music in a concert of choral and instrumental masterpieces. Every aspect of the spiritual life can be felt in the music of Swami Kriyananda, and there is no end to the inspiration that can be drawn from it.
Then another guest, Dana Lynne Andersen, came and shared her experience with tapping into joy through creativity and the visual arts. Her work has appeared as cover art on several books by Swami Kriyananda, but those are small representations of her full-size canvases that vibrate with light and superconscious expression of spirit. It is a wondrous thing to see what can happen when we allow divine energy to flow through us without resistance.
Right now we have the honor of hosting Lila Devi, founder of Spirit-in-Nature Essences. Through classes and individual consultations, she helps people discover their true nature and experience the inner joy that is always there. I had a flash of understanding into the “essence” of what she does when she said it is about “life force meeting life force”. We can access the more pure vibration of spirit that is within nature’s bounty to attune our vibration to a higher level. Just as we can change our vibration with the purity of superconscious music or superconscious creativity.
Ananda is a movement of consciousness – an awakening of our true potential as spiritual beings. To be awakening in the company of so many joy-filled souls is a blessing beyond imagining.
It’s been a great experience learning to write a blog. Once I got into the flow, I realized how much I had to say, and I realized I needed a place to organize things within a theme of bringing God into family life; blogging had helped me find the creative flow to write again.
Blogs are relatively short, and I was thrilled to learn how to insert “links” to help guide families to interesting little areas on ananda.org; the Ananda web site is a huge resource, so it was a bit like being on a treasure hunt as I created each link. But, as things unfolded, I saw that I was actually writing more chapters for the book, Finding God in the Heart of Your Family. So, in order to bring it to the next level of manifestation, I started a small website on a wonderful free service called wordpress.com. This is a very encouraging step for me.
Even though helping families find little pathways to devotion is very dear to my heart, the Ananda Healing Prayer Ministry is my main “dharma” or service to God. So, in all of my recent technical enthusiasm, I also started a separate, but connected, web site to write articles on healing. The book, Divine Will Healing may need to be reprinted in 2010, so I am enthusiastic to get some writing done for that process, too. Over the years, I have had the opportunity to learn more about the many healing teachings Master gave us. So, it will be good to start writing some of it down.
Mukunda’s parents were deeply devoted to Lahiri Mahasaya. They always kept a beautiful picture of Lahiri on a small altar in their home. Many times Mukunda could be found meditating in front of the altar with his mother. He learned to love Lahiri more and more as the years passed. Often, during his meditations Lahiri’s picture would change from a photograph to a living form and sit before the young Mukunda. However when he would try to reach out and touch the master’s feet, the vision would return to being a photograph again.
When Mukunda was eight years old, he became very ill. He was so sick that he couldn’t get up from bed. The doctors could do nothing and everyone was afraid that he might not live. Mukunda’s mother was very scared, but she had great faith in her guru. She motioned to the picture of Lahiri that hung on the wall above Mukunda’s bed. “Bow to him mentally!” She knew that Mukunda was too weak to do it physically. “If you really show your devotion and inwardly kneel before him, your life will be spared!”
Healing Light from Lahiri Mahasaya
As Mukunda gazed at the photograph a bright light came out of the picture and filled his whole body as well as the entire room. Instantly he was healed. His illness was gone and his strength returned. Yogananda knelt to touch his mother’s feet to thank her for her wondrous faith in her guru. Gyan Prabha repeatedly pressed her head against the little picture of Lahiri saying, “O omnipresent master, I thank thee that thou hath healed my son!” Mukunda realized that his mother had also seen that beautiful healing light that had come out of the photograph. Mukunda loved that photograph which had been given to his father by Lahiri himself.
Over the years, in the Ananda Healing Prayer Ministry, I have recommended Psalm 91 for people who needed protection. One time it was a for a couple facing a very unfair lawsuit, in which they stood to lose everything. Psalm 91, recited daily, was a source of strength and comfort. (In the end the case was settled peacefully.)
I have been wanting to write about it for some time, and make available a free recording of Psalm 91 (below). I got the nudge I needed this morning when, after meditation*, I opened the Second Coming of Christ (written by Paramhansa Yogananda) and found this brief reference to Psalm 91:
“One who finds within himself that “secret place of the most high” becomes suffused with supreme happiness and divine security…God’s Kingdom is within you…” (The Second Coming of Christ, The Resurrection of the Christ Within You, p. 1187 )
These words reminded me, once again, that the highest realm of divine protection is in God union. Not quite there yet? Then invoke the power of those holy ones who are united with God’s Presence. This psalm, and all the psalms, are best understood from this perspective.
“Soldier’s Psalm”
There are numerous miraculous stories attributed to Psalm 91, many of them from soldiers. Where does this protective power come from? The highest level comes from God union, Paramhansa Yogananda states above. In addition, Edgar Cayce, the renowned psychic, said that Jesus Christ led his apostles through Psalm 91 at the end of the Last Supper, to protect his apostles from harm on Good Friday. It was his time to go - but not yet their time.
Christ’s blessing further imbued the psalm with divine power. You can call on His divine protection as you recite Psalm 91, for you are His child.
A few years ago, Jeff B., from Wyoming, was due to return to Iraq for his 3rd tour of duty. He was a big, strong, brave and capable young man, and the commander of a large group of Special Forces. And he was the son of Jack B., a longterm member on the Ananda Healing Prayer Council.
Jeff felt strangely vulnerable this time at the thought of returning to Iraq. His father, a deeply intuitive and prayerful man, hadn’t worried about him on his first two tours of duty. But when he called me, I realized, even after he spoke only a few words, that he wasn’t sure if he would see his son alive again.
Sometimes we go through times of karmic vulnerability. It doesn’t mean we must meet our doom at that time, but it may mean we are much less likely to avoid catastrophe. Since Jeff could not avoid going back to Iraq, we needed to strengthen his aura and faith with any tools he would accept. His father was a devotee of Paramhansa Yogananda, but Jeff was a regular Wyoming guy. He believed in Jesus, deep down, but nothing too fancy or metaphysical.
I put Jeff on the healing prayer list to the whole group - about 600 people.
I also told his Dad about Soldier’s Psalm, and it’s reputed protection. He gave it to Jeff, who was ready to leave for Iraq. He received it gratefully. The biggest miracle may be that Jeff got most of his men to recite it daily. (A few blew him off; remember - these are the tough guys: Special Forces.)
Several seeks later, Jeff called his Dad from Iraq, and said, “Dad, I need a new watch.”
His Dad replied, “What? I just got you that watch! What happened?”
Jeff: “I can’t tell you on the phone, but I’ll explain later.”
It turns out that Jeff led his group on a very dangerous mission that day, going door to door in a dense, dangerous area, looking for terrorists. Suddenly there was an intense fire fight in a tight alley, and from shooters above them. Such conditions normally create many fatalities. Miraculously, only one soldier from the group was killed. It is always a deep tragedy, but it was a battle, after all.
Jeff, as commander, was normally the one to be right out in front, leading his men. He’s just that kind of guy. They were taking cover behind one of their trucks, and in the excitement, the driver reversed the truck - right on to Jeff’s wrist! He was pinned there! So, in a moment when Jeff would have normally thrown himself into intense battle, he simply had to lay there!
That was the karmic moment, I believe. It appears that much was mitigated through the psalm, healing prayers, and his father’s love and prayers. He lost the watch, but not the arm (and not his life) - by God’s grace. He was kept from harm.
Jeff showed great faith in God by doing the psalm, and also by getting his men to do it, too. Life is a school, and sometimes we barely know which lessons we are being tested on. God knows the full score, but I am guessing Jeff did very well.
Listen to Psalm 91
right here
C:\Documents and Settings\Administrator\Desktop\Mary\Psalm91.mp3
I’ve been on this path for almost 30 years and I’m just beginning to realize how much my consciousness has been changed by the teachings of Yogananda and the guidance and influence of Swami Kriyananda.
“How would he respond in this situation?” has become part of my thinking, and it is a remarkably easy way to keep myself centered and joyful. I have had the opportunity to know Swami Kriyananda, and observe him in many situations, but you can also get to know him through his music, his writings and his talks.
Recently, I was spending a great deal of time in the hospital, at my mother’s bedside. I’m a former nurse and my sister and I were actually providing all the hands-on care, short of dealing with the IV machine.
I would arrive in the wee hours of the morning, shortly after my sister went home to rest, and the nurses would welcome me with smiles. But one morning I came in through the E.R. entrance at 4am and the guard reluctantly called the floor for permission to let me through. The head nurse said no.
I got on the phone and kindly pleaded with her for “permission” to be with my mother. She was concerned I would disturb the other patients and I offered to sit in the waiting area if there was a problem, and she eventually agreed.
When I reached my mother’s room I tiptoed in and sat at her side, silently checking her breathing and the machines. The charge nurse came in and challenged me, giving every indication that if I left the room she would not let me back in. I was kind, but firm about staying put.
As I sat there in the dark, I considered the alternatives. I could accept the challenge and see the nurse as an adversary, then face a battle for bedside rights during the rest of my mother’s stay. Very unpleasant, and dangerous for my mother.
But when I visualized Swami Kriyananda in the same situation, I knew that was not what he would do. I prayed for guidance and understanding. I saw clearly that the nurse was really a loving soul, who had given her life in service to others. Perhaps she was surprised by our presence and didn’t like surprises. I knew from my own nursing experience that families are not always assets in patient care.
I prayed for her understanding, I asked God to bless her with calmness and I poured out my heartfelt gratitude for her skill and attention on behalf of all the patients. Then I refused to put any more negative energy into the situation.
The next night, she walked into the room while my sister and I were present and my mother was awake. After asking if I was the same person she had asked to leave the night before, she offered a sincere and sweet apology. I was stunned and touched, as she stood in front of my sister and mother, within earshot of the other patient, and said there was no excuse for her behavior.
I looked her in the eye, as Swami Kriyananda would, and told her we were very grateful for her concern and pleased with the care that was being provided. As we discussed my mother’s condition, she seemed to have a sudden inspiration and offered to move her to a private room that was becoming available later that night.
She personally made sure the move happened before her shift was over and treated us with loving-kindness during the rest of our stay. The ER guard also inexplicably changed, greeting me with a cheerful smile and escorting me through like an old friend, regardless of the hour.
Swami Kriyananda always treats others as souls, with the highest potential. Every time I remember to do the same, grace flows through the situation and I can feel God’s presence. Try thinking like him, and see the positive changes that will come, because you have opened the door to the highest within yourself.
Wow. What a week! Spiritual Renewal Week 2008 was probably the biggest event we have ever had.
We had hundreds of guests at the village and The Expanding Light and we must have had hundreds of people helping put on the events. It was quite amazing how everything came together, it is true: Many Hands Make a Miracle.
I don’t think it is at all possible to list everyone that deserves thanks for contributing toward this week of bliss because it would include everyone!
The week concluded with an Indian Banquet in The Expanding Light Piazza. We got to dress up in our Indian outfits and relax and visit with our friends.
We we served delicious Indian food and beverages. We had a few songs from the choir and soloists that left most of us in tears. Dambara from Palo Alto sang the first song Swamiji wrote, Farther Away than the Stars. Aaron sang Swamiji’s latest song, Love is a Magician.
It got dark, so I wasn’t able get a photo of Swamiji speaking. He spoke briefly but, very sincerely about his life of discipleship. Just before that Sri Kaarthikeyan spoke. He is a close friend of Swamiji’s and spent the week visiting our homes and businesses. Everyone who had the pleasure of spending time with Sri Kaarthikeyan this week felt honored by is visit and his friendship. During his talk he stated that Ananda, with its joy and harmony, is a true miracle….
The week concluded with Sunday Service. Unfortunately, Swamiji wasn’t feeling well and could not give the service.
Jyotish and Devi gave the service which was so beautiful. At this moment, I can’t even remember what they said (it will be on the web soon) but it was such a fitting end to the week. My husband and I looked at each other and we both admitted to feeling transformed.
The service ended with sending out waves of blessing into the world. There were lots of hugs afterward as we all prepared to head out and back into our daily life. And even here, (as Jyotish said) we have to return to daily life and the challenge is how to keep the inspiration of this week with us always.
Bharat quoted someone’s prayer in his talk. It was “Lord, bless me that if I forget you, you won’t forget me.” It is so simple and humble and sweet.
The devotion and inspiration that we have all shared this week, whether we were here or tuning in from around the world, will bless us over and over. And if we forget God in our daily life all we have to do is to stop and remember that our Guru, Paramhansa Yogananda, loves us and he won’t forget us.
Celebrations at Ananda will continue through September when we honor Swami Kriyananda’s 60th year as a disciple of our Guru.
Please pray for Swamiji, visualize him in light, see him strong and vital as he continues to share his bliss with all of us.
